Natural Selection #1 BALLOON PRIEST

Lately I have been coming across tons of stories about the way people get themselves killed due to their OWN STUPIDITY!

Therefore I have created a category called Natural Selection. I will post one story a day about the ways people have killed themselves due to their stupidity. If for no other reason you come back to this blog but to view this I promise you it will be worth your time. You too will sit back afterward shaking your head wondering just how someone could be so stupid.

And now our first candidate:

The Balloon Priest

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the “flight.”In homage to Larry’s aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers.

Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help. But rescuers were unable to reach him since he could not use his GPS! HE struggled with the control panel as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.

Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest’s body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.

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~ by Digory Kirke on August 14, 2008.

One Response to “Natural Selection #1 BALLOON PRIEST”

  1. Great story, and a great idea for a post…..

    Looking forward to reading more,

    Cheers,
    Quirky Indian
    http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

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